Here I am with my friend, Amanda. This was taken almost exactly a year ago.
This is a great picture for a couple of reasons. First of all, this girl and I have become quite good friends over the past year. I think the night this picture was taken was the first time we hung out outside of work. It's kind of fitting because I went to this party after my best friend, Alli's, going away party before she went to Chicago. While Amanda certainly hasn't replaced Alli, it's strange to think that the night that I was saying goodbye to someone who is so dear to me, I was becoming friends with another girl who would also become someone very important to me.
Like I mentioned, I work with Amanda at the same Italian restaurant. When I started, she was a maitre d' and I was a host. Now, as people have come and go and gotten promoted or fired, Amanda is the head maitre d' and I'm her underling maitre d'. It was kind of nice when I was just a host because we worked a lot of the same shifts and got to know each other really well. We have a lot in common, and even though we usually work opposite shifts now, we try to make time in between our busy schedules to see each other out of work.
Most of the time, we just giggle as we make our way through a bottle of wine or bowl of guacamole. She also just got engaged a couple days ago, so I can't wait to talk wedding stuff with her over the next several months.
My friendship with Amanda is one of my favorite things that has happened this year.
It's been a strange year for me. This time a year ago I was really getting into nursing school. I was in Microbiology at this point and easily making good grades since I had already taken the science-y classes in college. I didn't know anything nurse-related. I still worked a lot, but I wasn't in school as much as I am now, and I wasn't in any clinicals yet so I had a lot of extra time.
This past year I spent a lot of time figuring out what I want. I got selfish and maybe hurt some people at times, but it needed to be done for me to know what was worth effort, and most importantly, who was worth the effort of holding on to.
I learned a lot about the kind of nurse I want to be, which is turning out to be the kind of nurse I will be. I'm going to be the nurse who holds your hand when I talk to you and you're too tired to say anything back. I'm going to be the nurse who strokes your head when you're in pain. I'm going to be the nurse who sponges your face when you're having fever dreams. I know this is who I will be, because I am already becoming her.
As gross and awful and sometimes heart-wrenching nursing is sometimes, I know this is what I was meant to do. At the end of the day, it's worth it when the patient's daughter tearfully thanks me for treating her unresponsive mother with respect and superb care. It's worth it when the discharged patient calls me a guardian angel. It's worth it when the nurse I'm following tells me she has never seen her patient look so good after I've taken care of her.
I'm more appreciative of what I have and who I have. I can see my future coming up quickly, with graduation only 2 months away. I feel like I have a better grasp of who I am now, and that isn't something I could have said last year.
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