Pre-clinicals

Tomorrow is my first day of clinicals! I can't believe I'm far enough in nursing school to be doing this stuff already, like interacting with real live people! I'm feelings a lot of emotions about tomorrow:

1) Nervous. Since this is completely new, this is normal I know. I'm nervous for 2 reasons. First, I'm afraid I'll kill someone or do something wrong. Now the former probably won't happen since I'm just going to be doing shit jobs (no pun intended) like feeding patients, changing linens, bathing patients, and yes, cleaning up poop. But I'm really scared I'm going to fail out. If we do anything wrong, we get a failing grade. If we get a failing grade, we are kicked out of the program, and I have spent way too much time, effort, and money to fail out now. For example, if there is a wrinkle in my scrubs, I fail. If a strand of hair falls out of my tightly wrapped bun (no pony tails allowed) onto my shoulder, fail. If I walk into or out of a patient's room with gloves on, fail. My white socks must cover my ankles. My shoes must be completely white, covered toes, covered heels. I may wear a white shirt under my scrubs, but no longer than 3/4 length sleeves. No jewelry allowed except for a wedding band or small stud earrings. It's ridiculous and also not how real life nursing will be. Another fear of mine is showing up late. Automatic fail. Which is why I'm leaving the house an hour early to drive the 45 minutes to the nursing home I'm due to arrive at 6:45am to. Great.

2) Grossed out. Did I mention the poop? Yeah there will be a lot of it. And other bodily fluids. And genitalia in general that I'm going to need to clean. Sick. I'm sure I'll have plenty of stories to tell in my later post of "post-clinicals."

3) Excited! I'm going to be a real nurse! While I probably won't be doing these duties as a real RN (we have underlings like nursing students and care partners to do silly things like bathing and feeding), it's still a big step in my education. I've learned a lot and I'm excited to put my knowledge to good use and help people. I hope to establish some connection with some patients and realize that this profession really is my true calling. I'm also excited to find out what kind of nurse I'll be. I can guarantee I won't be like Nurse Ratched from "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," Nurse Jackie, or Beverly Allitt

4) Exhausted. Remember how I said I'm leaving really super early to get there on time tomorrow? That sucks. I also worked a closing shift tonight and am working a double shift tomorrow, doing the same round of clinicals all day Wednesday, and then another double shift Thursday before taking my final exam Friday. Yes, I'm exhausted just thinking about it. Also, I forgot to eat dinner tonight and my mom forgot to buy me power bars like she said she would, so I have no idea how I'm going to eat tomorrow. Oh well. I'll be sure to let you know if I pass out, go into a psychotic breakdown, or hallucinate.

Well that about sums it up. It's very late now and I need to get up in just a few hours, so it's bedtime for me. Goodnight, Blog World.