The Most Petrifying Dream I've Ever Had

I just woke up from a horrible nightmare, and I wanted to type it down to preserve it forever.

First of all, know that I'm not prone to violent dreams (just the night before last I dreamt that I served pancaked to Bruce Springsteen). Also, I had creme brulee for dinner last night, which probably had something to do with this.


Well I dreamed that I was back in my old apartment at Longwood with my same roommates. Raquel and her boyfriend started being really mean to me for some reason and stealing my computer to download weird things and just not being really nice. I don't know what that has to do with anything, but that's how it started. Then a girl walked into my apartment. I can describe her to a T. About 4 feet tall, very dark, with salt and pepper hair except the white part of her hair had been dyed blue on one side of her head and red on the other. She just walked straight into my bathroom. "Who are you and what are you doing in my apartment?" I said. She said something like I needed to fuck off or something. I told her if she didn't leave, I would call the cops. So I did. Typical university police takes foooooooorever to get anything done, so they were like "OK we'll send someone over." Well they sent a freaking handy man. By now, this girl was sitting on one of my roommates beds watching TV. So I pointed to the girl and said "It's that girl in the green skirt and pink top." So he starts taking her by the arm to escort her out. She pretended that she was going with him and then once she started passing the kitchen, she grabbed a fucking KNIFE out of the knife block and threatened him with it. Now my dreams aren't THAT violent so I didn't really see the stabbing because I ran into my room and locked the door. The only thing? My door wasn't locking right, and stabbing bitch was trying to get to me next! (Insert scary music)

So now I'm playing the game of whose weight can open or close the door. She's completely lost her shit. For whatever reason, there was a door that connected my room with Megan's. Of course, that door's lock wasn't working either, but I thought if I could run into her room and lock her door, I would be safer. So that's what I did. Phew. Safe. But now she's even more pissed off. She's trying to use a credit card to get Megan's door to unlock. It pokes through just enough so I can grab it from her hands. Done. Now she's REALLY pissed. To be honest, I don't really remember exactly what happened, but I end up in Raquel's room. Bitch is now throwing herself against the door. Luckily, there's a cell phone there. I'm able to tell the police to bring a SWAT team to my apartment (Can you imagine a SWAT team in Farmville?) and save me from this ridiculous girl. Now I know it's a waiting game. Raquel's door is locked and I'm secure, but she's threatening to break down the door using a machete. MACHETE!!! So I decide I might need to sneak into Michele's room through the freaking window. Did I mention I'm on the 4th floor? I bravely started climbing out the window, when bitch bursts through Raquel's door. She gets to me as I'm just leaving Raquel's room, and all she really did was cut my finger a little bit. I realized at this point that this is the last room in our apartment. There's no where else to go, and if no one comes to save me, I'm screwed for real. With the door and window both locked, she starts throwing her weight against the door. I can see the flimsy wood of the door shaking and trying to give. Just then I heard a huge BOOM. "What the fuck, man?!" I heard her say. The blood spattered through the small crack between the door and the carpet of Michele's room. She had just been shot in the leg. I was smart enough to know that wouldn't stop this bitch so I definitely didn't open the door. Good thing, because she tried to attack the first SWAT guy before they finally took her down. When I walked outside my apartment, there were lots of stretchers lined up for victims. Apparently, in her spare time she had found and hurt my other roommates, but not seriously. And of course right then, I woke up.


I don't ever want to eat creme brulee again.