For those of you who are illiterate, didn't have a complete childhood (Muppet's Christmas Carol), or are just plain stupid, Ebenezer Scrooge was visited by three ghosts: past, present, and future. As my memory serves me, the Ghost of Christmas Past showed him times he had been hurt and when he started turning into the selfish prick he then became, which the Ghost of Christmas Present illuminated. But it wasn't until the Ghost of Christmas Future when Scrooge saw that he was destined for a lifetime of misery before eventual death that made him change his lifestyle and stop being so mean to poor Bob Cratchett. So this got me thinking (or rather thinking about the following made me think of Ebenezer)... don't we all live in the past, present, and future?
Ebenezer was most affected by the future, which looked the bleakest for him. I find myself straying towards the past. It's such a pointless thought, too. I mean, it's "healthy" to live in the present with a watchful eye on the future, right? The past is the past. It's finished and done with. But even when I was in second grade watching the Muppets portray Charles Dickens' novel, the Ghost of Christmas Past always affected me the most. Watching Ebenezer get his heart ripped out of his chest by some girl made me feel bad for the guy and I vaguely remember thinking his actions were justified even.
The point is, whatever tense you focus on, it's probably good to just do what we've always been taught: learn from the past, live in the present, focus on the future. The past is the past. It cannot be changed no matter what. The present is a constant that everyone needs in their life, so take a look around. Evaluate your life. What do you think? And look to the future. Ebenezer didn't like what he saw, but I like what I see in mine which gives me comfort. So whether it's the past, present, or future that haunts you, accept what can't be changed and do what you can to be happy in the future.
The future can always be changed with present changes that occurred because of the past.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Karma
I guess I have always been a follower of karma, or I'm "karmish" as my family puts it. In the last few years, I've really made a conscious decision to do good for the hell of it. Whether it's holding the elevator for someone (even if they're just going to the second floor), giving money to the homeless, or participating in Angel Tree (like I did tonight). I do believe that all of my giving comes back to me, but I can't really put my finger on a certain event that has probably existed because of karma.
But then I realized--I have everything I could ever really need. I've got great friends both at Longwood and elsewhere. I've got a family who is in excellent health as far as I know. My father is in a line of business that essentially thrives during a recession. I work for a company that will create work for me over the holidays just so I can gain more valuable experience and have spending money for Christmas presents. My grades are good, my relationship is thriving, and all I see in the future is happiness.
Maybe that's why I've suddenly become so into karma. Maybe random acts of kindness don't "magically" cause my life to get better. Maybe I'm just happy and want to share what I can with anyone who comes in contact with me, which makes me even happier. I don't actually care about the mechanics behind my happiness. All I know is that maybe everyone should take a leaf out of the karmish book.
My rotten uncle (RIP) was the most miserable person I ever met. He only cared about himself and money and certainly not charity (God forbid!). He died unhappy and with a lump of cash that he would never use. What is the point of that? Next time you find yourself in a situation where you have just a little bit of cash burning a hole in your pocket, don't spend it on a $5 cup of coffee or a manicure that will chip off in 3 days. Give it to charity. Next time you find yourself bored, donate your time to something that means something to you.
I can't wait for Christmas morning. Not because of my own gifts or even to watch my family and friends open the gifts that I gave them (which I actually do enjoy more than opening my own). I can't wait to think of the two little girls that I picked off of the angel tree. I picture the 6-year-old who wanted a nail set wearing the tiara I bought for her while painting her nails in sparkly pink. Or maybe the 7-year-old who wanted educational games, working on her colorful workbook for first graders wearing the bright dress up make up. I picture them in the sweaters I spent time picking out for them, and I hope they think of me each time they wear their respective sweaters. That is what Christmas is about to me. That's what karma is about. And maybe, if I'm lucky, they'll be able to give to someone in the future.
Now will someone please help me off of this soapbox?
But then I realized--I have everything I could ever really need. I've got great friends both at Longwood and elsewhere. I've got a family who is in excellent health as far as I know. My father is in a line of business that essentially thrives during a recession. I work for a company that will create work for me over the holidays just so I can gain more valuable experience and have spending money for Christmas presents. My grades are good, my relationship is thriving, and all I see in the future is happiness.
Maybe that's why I've suddenly become so into karma. Maybe random acts of kindness don't "magically" cause my life to get better. Maybe I'm just happy and want to share what I can with anyone who comes in contact with me, which makes me even happier. I don't actually care about the mechanics behind my happiness. All I know is that maybe everyone should take a leaf out of the karmish book.
My rotten uncle (RIP) was the most miserable person I ever met. He only cared about himself and money and certainly not charity (God forbid!). He died unhappy and with a lump of cash that he would never use. What is the point of that? Next time you find yourself in a situation where you have just a little bit of cash burning a hole in your pocket, don't spend it on a $5 cup of coffee or a manicure that will chip off in 3 days. Give it to charity. Next time you find yourself bored, donate your time to something that means something to you.
I can't wait for Christmas morning. Not because of my own gifts or even to watch my family and friends open the gifts that I gave them (which I actually do enjoy more than opening my own). I can't wait to think of the two little girls that I picked off of the angel tree. I picture the 6-year-old who wanted a nail set wearing the tiara I bought for her while painting her nails in sparkly pink. Or maybe the 7-year-old who wanted educational games, working on her colorful workbook for first graders wearing the bright dress up make up. I picture them in the sweaters I spent time picking out for them, and I hope they think of me each time they wear their respective sweaters. That is what Christmas is about to me. That's what karma is about. And maybe, if I'm lucky, they'll be able to give to someone in the future.
Now will someone please help me off of this soapbox?
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
Hell Week
"Hell week" was a term we used in high school theatre. It was the week before the play opened, and essentially when everything went from the beginning stages of learning blocking to perfecting the character. All in a week. Now nevermind that we had been rehearsing for months before, because only about 10% of everything gets done in those months. Everything comes together during the long hours of hell week. And each time hell week began, I always doubted we'd be able to finish putting everything together. But the funny thing is that the audience never knew how unprepared we actually were. Nevermind that the lead didn't know half of his lines the day before, or that the set was still wet with paint. It was still a good show. Barely.
Now that I'm in my final year of college, I'm experiencing another hell week that has nothing to do with theatre, but is still incredibly similar. This is the hell week of college classes. I have three very large assignments due (as well as small ones in between) due by Thursday of this week. For three of the four classes I'm taking, this will determine a significant portion of my grade. No, these projects are definitely not surprises to me. I've been aware of the looming dates for the entire semester, but I suppose I just haven't felt the motivation to get a significant portion done. Now, during hell week, it's not only important to get it all done in time, but to trick the audience (professors) into thinking I've been working on this all semester. And of course, at this point, the end looks grim. Even now with some of it under my belt, I don't feel like I can finish it all in time, but I can only hope that this hell week works out the same way all of my others have. Maybe its luck, maybe its last minute motivation. I don't know what it is. But whatever it is, I hope I can get some so I can pull this off.
Now that I'm in my final year of college, I'm experiencing another hell week that has nothing to do with theatre, but is still incredibly similar. This is the hell week of college classes. I have three very large assignments due (as well as small ones in between) due by Thursday of this week. For three of the four classes I'm taking, this will determine a significant portion of my grade. No, these projects are definitely not surprises to me. I've been aware of the looming dates for the entire semester, but I suppose I just haven't felt the motivation to get a significant portion done. Now, during hell week, it's not only important to get it all done in time, but to trick the audience (professors) into thinking I've been working on this all semester. And of course, at this point, the end looks grim. Even now with some of it under my belt, I don't feel like I can finish it all in time, but I can only hope that this hell week works out the same way all of my others have. Maybe its luck, maybe its last minute motivation. I don't know what it is. But whatever it is, I hope I can get some so I can pull this off.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Senioritis
I only briefly experienced senioritis in high school, and it wasn't too memorable. I just vaguely remember being distracted by parties, the theatre department, and college applications to care any more about school. And after all, after transcripts were sent out, as long as you passed your classes it didn't matter too much, right? Well, I never expected to experience senioritis again after the shock of freshman year at Longwood and realizing I would never again be able to sail through classes without working.
So now its senior year again. After four years, I finally figured out how to use my independence for good instead of evil and balance my time between schoolwork and other activities. I just found out Friday that I will be graduating this May, which makes me feel like a real senior for the first time this year.
And it took approximately 5 minutes for senioritis to set in.
I suppose I need to just grin and bear this last year as I finish my college career and head on to nursing school. After all, I'm here by choice (aside from the social and family pressures to get a college education) so I should enjoy the last semester and a half of my time in Farmville. Sit back, relax, and do the work that I already know how to do. This is what college is about, and now I'm leaving.
So now its senior year again. After four years, I finally figured out how to use my independence for good instead of evil and balance my time between schoolwork and other activities. I just found out Friday that I will be graduating this May, which makes me feel like a real senior for the first time this year.
And it took approximately 5 minutes for senioritis to set in.
I suppose I need to just grin and bear this last year as I finish my college career and head on to nursing school. After all, I'm here by choice (aside from the social and family pressures to get a college education) so I should enjoy the last semester and a half of my time in Farmville. Sit back, relax, and do the work that I already know how to do. This is what college is about, and now I'm leaving.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Educated
As a senior in college, I feel as if I am fairly well educated. Sometimes I feel lost when having certain conversations with certain people, but for the most part I know a lot about current events and the world around me. Every so often, I meet a person and wonder how he/she has gotten as far as me in life. Unfortunately, I had such an experience this afternoon in my English 400 class.
A girl and I were partnered together to discuss various topics and then be ready to talk with the class about it. Well, during only one class, this girl expressed to me that she did not know what polygamy is, what the Vatican is, who the Black Panthers are, and wasn't aware that there was a genocide in Africa. She was also confused the Muslim women don't dress the same as American women.
I just couldn't believe that a senior in college was so uneducated. How is that possible? Did she cheat her way through the last 15 or so years of her life? Doesn't she read the news? Probably not. But I'll bet she can tell me more about Gossip Girl than anyone else I know.
I couldn't help but feel extra smart at lunch today discussing with my politically aware friend about the legalization of medical marijuana and gay marriage. Bitch can keep her Gossip Girl.
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