Thursday, July 1, 2010

One year

Exactly one year ago I was over the Atlantic Ocean (probably hyperventilating due to my fear of flying) and on my way to the beautiful, small town of La Rochelle. I still miss it every day.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Lately

Lately I've been writing blog posts and then chickening out and deleting it all before I hit the big orange "PUBLISH NOW" button. I think it's because sometimes my mind is too complicated to be able to put down my feelings into words and so I get self-conscious and feel like my feelings aren't being expressed properly. I think I just lack the gift of writing well.

Hey, we can't all be like Megan Flynn.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Age

It's sad that sometimes age is a main reason why people aren't taken seriously. As the youngest in my family of four and my entire extended family including both sets of cousins, I have unfortunately felt this way for most of my life. While I am differently treated differently now than when I was, say, 8, I still feel talked down to, taken advantage of, and not respected sometimes.

I'm not even saying I'm not guilty of it. As a sign of respect, we let our elders make decisions when we go out in groups. They sit in the front seat of the car and decide what movie we are seeing. We do this out of respect. But perhaps there should be more of a mutual respect for opinions, knowledge, and choices of even younger colleagues.

Case in point, today in Anatomy and Physiology II, I had a question involving a topic that we were quickly going over that I had already learned at Longwood. My teacher respectfully said she didn't know what I was talking about. However, some of my classmates (note: I didn't use the word "peers" because they are noticeably older) argued with me over this point and told me that there's no way I was right. Well, I happen to know for a fact that I'm the only one in my class with bachelor's degree in Biology (or any science for that matter). While I don't have much experience in the actual clinical field, I do know more about Anatomy than most of the students. The main student who questioned me (rather rudely by the way) has plenty of experience as a paramedic, but has not taken many science classes (though she brags that she has 2 bachelor's degrees.... they just happen to be in History and Art History.... really helpful for your field).

My classmates know that I have a strong background in the sciences, so why was I questioned so severely to the point where I never wanted to speak up in class again? Was it because I'm significantly younger than almost all of my classmates? Therefore, do they think I don't know what I'm talking about? Or are they just taking advantage of my youth by making me feel reprimanded? Or somehow both to make themselves feel like better people?

Either way, I spent my lunch break researching this topic. I took great pleasure in printing it out along with the proper citation and presenting it to my teacher and the one certain classmate at the end of the day. While I was much more polite by explaining that this is probably something not many people know, but that I wanted to share it with her, she only glanced at it for one and a half seconds before silently turning around and stomping away. For someone who tries to act like such a superior adult to me, she sure did act like a child when she didn't get her way.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Sacrificing now will pay later... right?

Since graduating from college, I immediately started a nursing school full time and a part-time job in order to pay for the extremely expensive school. In that time, none of my friends in Richmond have done a damn thing except spend money frivolously, vacation, and hang out together. While I'm doing homework, they are at concerts. While I'm making money, they're playing tennis. Because of this, I have the sense that I'm becoming less important to my core group of friends because our priorities are entirely different. I know that I'm in debt to pay for the school that is necessary to have a lifetime essentially free of financial stresses, but I wish I was in the same boat as everyone else I know.

Because this little boat sure is lonely.


Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Transitions

If you haven't noticed, a general theme for my most recent posts have been about change. I've written before the change has happened, while it has been going on, and now I will conclude.

I started nursing school a week and a half ago. It's unlike anything I've ever experienced. I was worried that the 5-hour classes each day would not be very good for my self-diagnosed ADD, but so far I have been very wrong. Even though I have taken a good amount of these classes already, I still feel fulfilled and only slightly bored. I've already befriended people that I ordinarily would have walked right on past or judged severely or run the opposite way screaming (for those of you who I have talked to one-on-one, you know what I'm talking about). I'm already feeling like I'm becoming more of an adult. I'm being exposed to many different kinds of people in my small class of 25: single mothers, disabled young women, born-agains, mothers of disabled children, people going through gender changes, and more tattoos than I can count. While there are a few people who think they are the shit because they have some more hospital experience than most of us, we mostly accept each other for who we are. After all, we're in the same boat, and in 15 months, we'll all be going after the same jobs and making the same salaries and working with the same kinds of people.

Aside from the social aspect (which there really isn't much of), so far I'm doing well in my classes. I find myself almost sad when school lets out. It's fun to have something to do. Speaking of, I'm back to work at Maggiano's. It's good to be sticking around there for awhile instead of leaving after a few weeks to go back to school. I'm still getting myself settled at home. Most of my unpacking still hasn't been done (hey! I'm a busy girl!) and John hasn't even graduated yet, but I think I'm off to an OK start.

I hope I can keep this momentum going for 15 months, but my class has adopted the idea that we will all pass together or fail together, which really encourages me. It's kind of a strange idea for me after 4 years of every-man-for-himself at Longwood, not to mention the 12 years prior. It's good to feel a part of a team. What could be better? A team of people who want to help each other succeed at helping people in the future.

In other news:
Like I mentioned, John's graduation is coming up on Sunday followed by a delightful meal with his family. Next, John's Mamaw's 85th birthday cocktail party in a couple weeks. Later in June, a delightful long beach weekend with, you guessed it, John.

My sister found a wedding dress, and we're in the process of looking for my maid of honor dress.

'Til next time, bloggers.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

How do you measure, measure 4 years?

So I have many other friends who I'm stealing this idea from, and Senior Week has made me bored enough to attempt to sit down and write this. So I suppose I just wanted to reflect on the last 4 years.

Freshman year:

I did not want to go to Longwood. I wanted to go to JMU, but I slacked off too much in high school and they didn't want me. I met my roommate, Katie, before we got to school, and she was nice enough. But I was going to miss my friends from home. I had a very good group of friends, and we did everything together. And now we were all going to different schools. Just about the only thing I was excited about was moving out of my parents' house so I could be treated like an adult for the first time. So my goal was to work hard and make good grades so I could transfer. I decided on being a bio major because I figured being a nurse would be cool and this was a good first step. I didn't think I would be a bio major for long, and I was pretty sure I was going to switch to start becoming a teacher. I had a friend from high school, Maggie, who also went to Longwood, so I kind of glued myself to her the first day or two. Back then, I wasn't very good at meeting people. Maggie and I met Lizzie and Emily in the dining hall of all places. For whatever reason Lizzie just asked Maggie if she wanted to sit with her, so we did. And from then on the four of us were friends. Maggie had this girl who lived across the hall from her named Megan. She quickly joined our little "group" and the 5 of us became best friends just like that. School was much harder than I thought it would be. I was really struggling in my bio classes, and I had this dick of an English teacher. While I was warming up to Longwood, I was still planning on transferring.

Second semester was much different than first semester. Megan moved into my room (Frazer 849) after Katie moved out to live with her new pledge sister. Emily transferred. Maggie had a falling out with Megan and I, and Lizzie made new friends. Megan and I became best friends, and it was fun. We drank Aristocrat vodka on Wednesdays (or whenever, really) and watched Food Network all the time. We played Wii Bowling constantly. My grades slipped when I gave up on transferring after no one wanted to accept me. That semester was really good for me. I learned how to have fun -- a lot of fun -- at Longwood. Unfortunately, my grades suffered so much that I didn't pass Chemistry.

That summer, I work at O'Charley's as a server. It's not the best part of time. I don't make good tips. Made some friends, but mostly hung out with my high school friends.

Sophomore year:

I'm an RA in Frazer. Since I had given up on transferring, I thought making more friends and getting involved would make my college experience that much enjoyable. I really liked the Frazer staff, especially Rob and Candice. I also have my first boyfriend ever. His name is John and he was in that tight group of friends from high school. After a dramatic freshman year of him not knowing whether we should stay friends or date, we're finally together, but in a long distance relationship when neither of us had cars. Being an RA took a lot of time, but it didn't affect my school work. John was a great influence and always encouraged me to study. We saw each other once every few weeks when we would both go home or maybe one of us would borrow a car from our respective parents, but somehow we made it until second semester when I finally got my own car. Megan lived in Lancer Park with some girls she hardly knew. I went over and cooked dinner with her sometimes. She also got a new boyfriend, so we certainly didn't see each other as much, but we went to d-hall together fairly regularly and stayed close. My grades were up. Yay.

Second semester was more of the same. I re-took that Chemistry class and got a B. Good for me! I have a car now, so I'm driving to John. The distance is much easier knowing that I can drive to him whenever I need to, and I've really fallen for him at this point. By the end of the semester I'm wondering that if we can make it through that, what else can we do?

I'm excited that John is in Richmond for the summer so we can finally have some time to hang out. I'm working full-time at a place called Pulmonary Associates of Richmond doing patients' vitals. I love it. But I hate that at night, I'm taking Organic Chemistry classes. They're hard as shit, and I can't concentrate for that long, especially after a full day of work. I pass the classes that I take by the skin of my teeth.... and I really mean that. And I fulfill my internship goal and make a boatload of money by working at PAR. I really liked the ladies that I worked with there, except for Janet.

Junior Year:

I'm living in the Landings (SW 409), and I love it. I have Megan as a roommate again. I'm also living with Raquel, Megan's friend from high school, and also Michele, a cute blonde that we just scooped up to fill our last room. We were all pretty close that first semester. I am still a bio major, despite everything. At this point, it's the only thing on my mind, and I'm working my ass off to get decent grades. I'm not an RA anymore, thank goodness. A year of it was fine, but I didn't want to have to worry about those responsibilities again. John has a car now. Phew.

Second semester, I start working at Lancer Line by calling alumni and begging for money. It's OK, and it gives me some cash. My apartment was entertained by Naked Girl, and I'm still in contact with my RA friends, even though Candice is about to graduate. I'm still dating John. I took my final Organic Chemistry class. I barely passed. But I passed. Thank God.

In the summer, I work at PAR at the front desk for the first half. I become close with my co-worker, Jessica. I really liked the front desk, but vitals were fine too. John is in DC for the summer working for Naval Intelligence. It sucks that he's far away, but I'm about to be much farther, because I'm about to study abroad in La Rochelle, France. I've written in other blogs that I can't really explain everything that happened in France (it would take hours) or explain how it changed me as a person. But I met lifelong friends who are halfway across the world. I was the most independent I have ever been. I felt as if I had been there my whole life, and it was home. At the end of my studying experience, John met me in Paris and we traveled around France for a week. It was spectacular and we had so much fun together. It was hard to say goodbye to him when the new semester started.

Senior Year:

This is it. I wasn't entirely sure I was going to graduate since I had Biochemistry standing in my way (which is rumored to be much more difficult than Organic Chemistry). Turns out by changing my course catalog I was able to avoid that hurdle. And I was on my way to that diploma. I'm still living in the same place with the same roommates. I'm still working for Lancer Line, but now I'm really good at it. I'm also 21 now, so I'm enjoying Mulligan's, the only bar in Farmville. Megan and I would go there some Thursdays and make friends that would only last that night, but it was still fun. I'm starting to realize at this point that I pretty much just work and do school stuff, and I wish I had something else to do. I decide it's too late to get involved in anything else, and leave it alone.

Second semester, I really feel like I'm in the home stretch. I'm only taking 9 credits, but they're the hardest 9 credits I've ever taken. Same roommates. Same boyfriend. I've been promoted at work to a supervisor. Tiny pay increase. More fun in general. I see a flyer in the post office one day for RENT auditions. I keep going back and forth on whether to audition or not before being convinced by everyone I know to just go for it. So I do. I make it. I'm Maureen. Hooray! Now I think I was one of the only people in the cast who did not know a single person tied to the theatre, so I was a bit intimidated. I made great friends though. The cast became really close, and I'm so glad I did this. While it took a lot of time away from school work and other things, it was beyond worth it. The perfect ending to college. These memories I will take with me forever.


So now I've finished senior year. I'm graduating in 4 days, and then immediately starting nursing school.

The future:

Nursing school for 15 months. Full time. M-F 8:30-4:30. That's going to suck.
Living at home. Not going to be the best but at least it keeps the amount of my loans down significantly. John decided to get a job in Richmond so we could be together. Finally no more distance after 3 years of it.

Regrets of the last 4 years:
I can't really say that I have any. I wish that I hadn't had to work so damn hard in school to "get by," but at least I got by at all, and a biology degree will definitely help me in the long run.

Favorite moments:
Spontaneous bikini/coconut party in 849 with Megan
Stalking out Naked Girl with the 409 roommates
Anything and everything having to do with RENT
Sunday brunches in d-hall and giggling about the weekend
Watching She's the Man and Ellen
Having friends visit
Learning that I will, in fact, graduate... and so will my friends


I came into college not very excited to be here, but I don't think any other school could have given me what Longwood has given me. I went from trying to transfer to being an RA to talking people into giving money to this institution because they should believe in Longwood as much as I do. It will be sad to leave, but no one can take these memories from me.

Monday, May 3, 2010

The end/The beginning

So I graduate in 5 days, and then 2 days later I start nursing school for 15 months. I keep waiting for all of this to sink in. Maybe it will be when I've moved out of my apartment. Maybe it will be when I walk across the graduation stage. Or maybe it will be when I take my first test of nursing school. For France, it was the first morning that I woke up in La Rochelle, so I suppose maybe this will be similar. I'm really excited about nursing school, mostly because I feel ready to be a real adult by living on my own and working. I love working, and I don't really like school much. Learning new things is great, but it's the sitting in class all day and studying and tests that I hate. I wish I just knew everything automatically. That would be pretty cool. Then I probably wouldn't be a nurse, I would just go on Jeopardy every day for the rest of my life and be a bazillionaire. But I digress....

I'm going to miss a lot about Longwood. I'm for sure going to miss my apartment, walking everywhere, a lot of my teachers, and the friends that I've made. I literally can't believe I'm this old. I may have said this before, but I just can't view myself as older than about 16 years old. Maybe when I move out of my parents' house and pay big girl bills like for insurance and my cell phone I'll feel more adult.

A bachelor's degree is definitely something to be proud of, especially when I've gotten it in 4 years (which is harder for Longwood students than you would think), especially when its a biology degree. I can't believe I'm going off for more school and then maybe even more to go from RN to MSN. Considering I was one of those people right out of high school who was dreading 4 more years of classes in college, this is quite a change. I suppose that I'd rather do the damn thing and be happy and stable in my job the rest of my life than not.

The point is, while I still can't picture myself as older than 16, I have certainly changed. I guess the change was so gradual that I couldn't really notice it until a milestone such as this. It's funny. 10 years from now, I'll think that I was SO immature at 22.

So here I am... on a bridge between being an adult and a child. It sure feels like I've been here awhile, but I'm that much closer to crossing it. I absolutely can't wait. I believe that this is the beginning of the end of that bridge.