I don't even know how to begin this post. I wrote out our entire story and then deleted it all since it's just so long.
Here's the deal. John is the only person I've ever loved.
We were in french class together in 7th grade, and became friends in high school after I became friends with Alli, who was (and still is) dating his identical twin. I fell for him the summer before my senior year and expressed my feelings for him, which he promptly shot down. You see, he had just found out that he was going to UVA for college, and I knew that's not where I was going. He didn't believe in long distance relationships and, frankly, wasn't quite sure how he felt about me. So I tried to get over him, but it's hard to get over someone who is one of your best friends.
So by the end of senior year, I had accepted that we were both moving on to different schools for new and exciting experiences. He wrote me a letter telling me his fears that we would never be as close as we were at that time and that we would grow apart like all high school friends do. We both tried to move on and make the most of our college experiences. And we did move on. He dated other people, I became a bit of a party girl (849 forever). I could never fully get past my feelings for him though.
He kissed me that Christmas night. It was confusing, and it gave me hope for us. While it was a spontaneous action for him, it made me think he changed his mind. It led to me being shot down by him again. The rest of that school year was like a roller coaster for us. Trying to battle our feelings for each other vs. our longing for independence. I felt like I had been hurt by him too much to give it another go, and I tried swearing him off as a romantic interest and focusing on only being friends.
It's silly that I thought that would work.
That summer he lived in Blacksburg, and I went to visit him a couple times. Our feelings for each other had never been stronger, and we stopped trying to fight all of the other factors. The distance, the future. It didn't matter. We were 19 years old and wanted to try to figure it all out together.
Around July we went to New York with our friends for a few days. We all went to the Met and somehow John and I got separated from everyone else. We wandered around the museum for an hour or so, soaking in the art and enjoying the alone time. He tells me that's when he fell in love with me. I think I'd have to agree that I fell in love with him then, too.
On the night before I went back to Longwood for my sophomore year, we decided to give it a real go. If it didn't work, at least we could say we tried, and we would never have regrets. For the next three years, we saw each other on some weekends and breaks. We were able to have our cake and eat it too. Some weekends I hung out with my friends, and some weekends I saw him.
We've had some rough times since we both graduated from college. We had to get used to be in a relationship in the same city. We broke up, we got back together, we broke up again, and then after a few months of making sure we were doing it for the right reasons, we got back together again. We aren't perfect, and we never have been, but we have faith in each other. Even though we've both grown up and changed in the last 5 years, he's still the guy I kissed on Christmas and walked around the Met with on a hot summer day.
He's genuine to his core, the most intelligent person I know, and the man I can truly be myself around. He can read me like a book, and makes me laugh any chance he can get. He's the love of my life, and I wouldn't change anything about us.
