Lately

Lately I've been writing blog posts and then chickening out and deleting it all before I hit the big orange "PUBLISH NOW" button. I think it's because sometimes my mind is too complicated to be able to put down my feelings into words and so I get self-conscious and feel like my feelings aren't being expressed properly. I think I just lack the gift of writing well.

Hey, we can't all be like Megan Flynn.

Age

It's sad that sometimes age is a main reason why people aren't taken seriously. As the youngest in my family of four and my entire extended family including both sets of cousins, I have unfortunately felt this way for most of my life. While I am differently treated differently now than when I was, say, 8, I still feel talked down to, taken advantage of, and not respected sometimes.

I'm not even saying I'm not guilty of it. As a sign of respect, we let our elders make decisions when we go out in groups. They sit in the front seat of the car and decide what movie we are seeing. We do this out of respect. But perhaps there should be more of a mutual respect for opinions, knowledge, and choices of even younger colleagues.

Case in point, today in Anatomy and Physiology II, I had a question involving a topic that we were quickly going over that I had already learned at Longwood. My teacher respectfully said she didn't know what I was talking about. However, some of my classmates (note: I didn't use the word "peers" because they are noticeably older) argued with me over this point and told me that there's no way I was right. Well, I happen to know for a fact that I'm the only one in my class with bachelor's degree in Biology (or any science for that matter). While I don't have much experience in the actual clinical field, I do know more about Anatomy than most of the students. The main student who questioned me (rather rudely by the way) has plenty of experience as a paramedic, but has not taken many science classes (though she brags that she has 2 bachelor's degrees.... they just happen to be in History and Art History.... really helpful for your field).

My classmates know that I have a strong background in the sciences, so why was I questioned so severely to the point where I never wanted to speak up in class again? Was it because I'm significantly younger than almost all of my classmates? Therefore, do they think I don't know what I'm talking about? Or are they just taking advantage of my youth by making me feel reprimanded? Or somehow both to make themselves feel like better people?

Either way, I spent my lunch break researching this topic. I took great pleasure in printing it out along with the proper citation and presenting it to my teacher and the one certain classmate at the end of the day. While I was much more polite by explaining that this is probably something not many people know, but that I wanted to share it with her, she only glanced at it for one and a half seconds before silently turning around and stomping away. For someone who tries to act like such a superior adult to me, she sure did act like a child when she didn't get her way.

Sacrificing now will pay later... right?

Since graduating from college, I immediately started a nursing school full time and a part-time job in order to pay for the extremely expensive school. In that time, none of my friends in Richmond have done a damn thing except spend money frivolously, vacation, and hang out together. While I'm doing homework, they are at concerts. While I'm making money, they're playing tennis. Because of this, I have the sense that I'm becoming less important to my core group of friends because our priorities are entirely different. I know that I'm in debt to pay for the school that is necessary to have a lifetime essentially free of financial stresses, but I wish I was in the same boat as everyone else I know.

Because this little boat sure is lonely.